There is a small inviting cave near a coast line somewhere. While it is not fancy, this cave has provisions like no other. The caves opening faces the ocean allowing the sounds of the sea to echo sweetly and ever so slightly off the walls, surrounding you in their song. It is intimate and quiet and provides a much needed sanctuary where the worldly problems disintegrate in the tide as it serenely rolls in and out. Honest peace and clarity are found here.
I want to vacation there.
This was an exercise for a creative writing class long ago. The purpose was to describe an imagined personal haven, and this was mine.
There are times when I could really use a time share at this location.. to allow the some sanity to creep back into my life. Current situations seem to have initiated a drawn-in type of lifestyle that is unhealthy I think. I feel quite trapped at times, and its further exasperated by my desire to NOT hurt those around me. I get frustrated at times because I feel that pretty consistently, what should be my real life haven, where I should be able to go to be vulnerable, take a breath, and find some peace, is many times more vulnerable than I am. When I express frustrations, all it does is chip away at an already rickety foundation and force a role change causing me to take on the role of the supporter. I have no qualms being in that role.. I just also need to breathe sometimes too… I need to work on a better way of processing things for myself. Better, healthier coping strategies and better inspiration to encourage better and healthier coping strategies in those around me.
There is a frequent gap between what people say they want, and what they actually are willing to deal with, how far they are willing to be there for others. Its sad. Its a wonder sometimes how we as a people can be so painfully aware of our own faults, yet not take any initiative to make ourselves better. Dealing with these kinds of attitudes in others and ourselves is frustrating to no end. The fact is that no one can do these kinds of repairs for you. Such changes have to be made from the inside out. Its purely our own responsibility. Regardless of what is going on around us, regardless of our assets or debits, its still always our personal responsibility to in act healthy decisions for ourselves. No one can take away what provisions you set up inside of yourself. No one can steal faith, hope, and peace unless we let them. We are solely responsible for our own reactions.
I will purposely take some time to work on and fortify an inward personal haven this weekend. Will also work on getting myself out of the house on my own for a bit, maybe visit with friends and family. I will do it because its long over do.