The Promise is what is important…

I’m going to put my Mom hat on, and just discuss some truth that I think get’s brushed aside.

 

#1 Promises are sacred. You will forever be judged upon (and rightly so) the promises you make as how you fulfill them, or how you abandon them, because that is an accurate measure of your personal character.

#2 The ability to trust is what makes promises meaningful. Your word really is your bond. If your words are themselves meaningless, and not based in truth, then others have the right to judge you upon them.

#3 Should you reconsider promises made to those who have broken your trust? The answer is actually yes.  Your promises do have conditions that must be met in order for them to retain their meaning. Its important to be aware of what those conditions are.

Its far too simplified of a statement to just believe that promises should be kept at all cost… because there are times where they definitely shouldn’t be.  Example being is in the case of an abusive partner that threatens your safety and well being.

Each person’s limits are different, because the things they value are different, so its important to understand that thought.

This is why some people decide to stay with someone that cheated on them and broke that trust.  Their reasons could be vast in range, and could be anything from being scared to be alone, to simply not really actually caring about that part of their relationship, or maybe they understand it as a one time mistep in their partner. Does them staying with that person make the other’s indescresion “ok”?  Not by a long shot… but we make many weighted decisions in this lifetime.

Do your best to use your morals and ethics to do more than justify or excuse your decisions. Avoid basing decisions on excuses, but rather instead on fairness.

#4 Do not make promises lightly, make sure whatever it is, is something you are willing to stick with and fulfill to the end. You aren’t forced to promise anything to anyone… so don’t do it unless you really mean it.

#5 Emotions are fickle and easily swayed by your comfort level. For most things, the second you become uncomfortable, the question of something’s worth comes to mind, and resentment may even set in.

Positive and healthy relationships aren’t always 100% Comfortable. There even may be times when you are really angry and can barely stand each other, but know that anger doesn’t actually replace love of a person.

This is one reason why when your perception of love is catered around all the excitement, butterflies, rainbows and happiness involved with how you feel about another person at the moment, that relationships becomes very vulnerable to failure. Emotional love isn’t forever because emotions do sway. Take caution in basing too much upon fleeting emotions.

#6 Love is actually found in your promise, and in your fulfillment of that promise… nothing more or less.

Note that despite what movies and books portray… it is quite possible that there will very likely be others in your lifetime that stir your soul… others that inspire your being, and others whose presence gives a sense of happiness…. and that is actually ok to have those feelings or sense of appreciation towards another. You are not a bad person just because that feeling exists.

What is not ok is when you begin allowing fickle emotions associated with an appreciation of others to sway you into breaking your existing promises, especially ones that have no reason to be second guessed. It should always be your priority to “Love the one you are with.”

The emotionally immature will often not fully understand those other feelings, and will allow them to inflate into seeming to be something more than what they actually are.  To in affect eclipse what is actually real.  Don’t be swayed by the addictive nature of being something “new” and “exciting.” Fleeting emotional feelings like that pass.

You can accept that feelings exist without feeling a necessity to act upon them.

 

 

 

 

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