This world can be an incredibly lonely place. How is it that there can there be 7.4+ billion people in the world and it still be so incredibly hard to not feel so alone. You are surrounded by people, even people that you love, and that love you back, yet…. you still feel so unknown. Unknown and not understood.
Not even feeling like anyone should be obligated, or should have to even “want” to know you… just more of a feeling that no one really understands your essence because everything you think and feel about situations feels so different and foreign from everyone else.
It makes it so hard to communicate. When you aren’t on the same wavelength and you realize it. When you realize that there is so much that you’d have to explain, just to get to the point where it would be fair to expect anyone to understand. When you know its really no ones fault, but you really don’t know how to then convey it to others, because you are hurting a little, but its entirely to exhausting to even try to explain… even to those who are patient enough to listen.
And then there is the guilt… the guilt in feeling like you just need to buck up and deal with something, but internally wishing that it wouldn’t be such a burden . Having the real desire to NOT be “That girl” … the one that complains and who people secretly don’t want to actually deal with, but are too nice to say it. You prevent that by minimizing the times you talk about anything you feel to anyone.