The day has arrived…. our daughter’s 18th

08 BlueCreek 9-12-2015 11-54-11 AM

The day has arrived… the day we as parents finally pass onto you in its entirety, the mantle of responsibility for your own life.  The first day as to which every decision you make is now your own, and all the good and bad that goes along with it. A blessing and a curse is adult hood, but the bright point of that is that now you are the one deciding. Its you that chooses your trajectory and how far you will go… no one else. It is your decision… it is your choice.  The determining factor is never resources.. its resourcefulness.

We are proud of the person you are, and while we may not always end up agreeing, we still feel confident in your ability to figure out what decent and moral choices  look like.

You will still get (sometimes unwanted) suggestions from us, but always remember that it is out of our love for you.  You will always be our child, our sweet daughter, even though we progressively won’t be able  to claim as much of your time, it will never sever our love for you. We recognize that in the end, this is now your life…. your responsibility, and it is no longer our place to safeguard you from this world. Our roles have changed.  As parents of an adult, it is now our place to be the sounding board, to listen, to occasionally offer (still sometimes unwanted) suggestions or advice, but most of all to remind you that even in the darkest hours, there is always still love, sincerity, and care present in this world. To serve as a reminder that hopefully helps you continue to look for those aspects in the world around you……. because while they are sometimes hard to see… they are still out there.

Relationships are hard at times, and its because people can plain be difficult, but know that light can be found in the shadows, you just have to actually look  to find the right switch.

If we’ve taught you anything, I hope that you always remember to “dig a bit deeper” and “consider the source”.

Evaluate and investigate motives, both your own, and of others. Understand that listening to others is actually vital to keeping your mentality effective and reasonable. Understand that listening doesn’t equate to necessarily agreeing, but know that without it, it is impossible to find any middle ground upon which to build a foundation of cooperation. Cooperation is the actual road to resolutions.  The worst thing that can happen is to lose empathy for the struggles of others, or to disregard them outright.

Remember that everyone, no matter their status or position or phase of life deserves basic respect. Remember that all negativity is formulated from a lack of respect in some regard.

Your power will be found only in your own actions and reactions. What YOU do, is the only thing you actually have real control over. Release yourself from incorrectly thinking otherwise.

Continuously question your own beliefs, and make sure they are really your own. This is important. Really think about the deepest “whys” and be willing to change them when illumination presents itself. Desire to evolve, to progress, to grow and mature as a human being. Set your sights high and work towards improvement.  This means that there will be times when things you previously held as “truth” will be challenged and even need to be abandoned for (hopefully) healthier positions on which to stand.

Be ok to not always “know”.. to not be “perfect” or absolutely “certain”…. instead investigate.   Seek truth, not glory, as pride can be a dangerous partner. Be open minded enough to realize that there are little pieces of truth in everything.. even those things you really disagree with. Strive to be reasonable enough to acknowledge actual bits of “truth” in opposing views, and never demonize people simply because of their views. Realize that if resolution is your actual desire, then it leaves no room for “Us” vs “Them” antics. You’ll find that learning why….. in actually discovering what experiences they had,  that fed those points of view are helpful in being able to present new thoughts or ideas in a way that they can understand and relate to. To be able to maybe inspire more positive interactions with them and possibly even inspire them to desire themselves to expand upon their own beliefs and grow themselves.

Know that understandings are not frequently the same.  Remember that your life experiences are unique to you.. just as is the case with everyone around you. What has been “true” in your case, is not for sure “true” for others.

Make sure to only take on beliefs that you are willing to have all your actions match. Don’t waste time or effort subscribing to half-hearted beliefs.. Life is precious.

Belief without implementation in your actions is meaningless and insincere, the same can be said for beliefs taken on without investigation. If you don’t know why you believe something… then figure it out first before put it into action.

What caused you to take on that belief? Is it just the “right thing” to do? What does “the right thing” mean to you? What does “right” really mean? Does this belief support human decency or crumble it? Is it really a “fair” position stand upon? Does it place others in a place of disadvantage? Does the belief blanket a whole group? Or does it respectfully stand to treat individuals as the individuals they are? Does it hold others hostage over the actions of a few who are “labeled” the same?  Strive to investigate your own heart and know the answers to those questions before you subscribe to any belief.

Faith is great, but that is a trust that should only be given something/someone that has actually been proven to deserve it. Try not to give that amount of trust prematurely.  The only constant in life, is that things change.  People are not above this rule, you are never completely the same person you started out as (and that can be a positive thing).  While some may currently deserve that “faith”, it doesn’t mean it will forever be the case.  Be prepared to deal with either scenario.

Don’t fear change…. instead fear stagnation, because that means growth and progress has stopped. Don’t be afraid to be innovative, or to think of things from other vantage points.  Always know that it takes many different positions to be able to ever see the full picture.

 

 

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