April was the last time I posted.. that has been a bit of a break now hasn’t it. I wish I could say that I’ve been on vacation, or that I had just been so caught up with all the interesting aspects life has thrown at me, that I just didn’t have time to post anything… but I can’t. I’ve had time, but haven’t made time is the honest truth. To be completely honest, I couldn’t bear to say some of the things that have been on my heart.
I sort of feel like I’ve been a bit in hibernation, and the odd thing is that even that tiny little piece of truth causes me to tear up to even write this. I have to admit there are a few things that have left me feeling kind of betrayed, and I still haven’t shaken them.. but its time I get past it and move on. I need to do what I always tell my kids to do, and consider the source… but the hard part is that my pool of people who are above that definition, those who do not fall on that mental list has greatly decreased to where the amount of people I feel comfortable to converse with is so very little.
Motivational speakers always talk about how you can reach any goal you put your mind to… so what does that mean if you don’t. If the life you envisioned is no where near what is reality for you? What then? Does it mean you’ve failed? Failed yourself.. or just failed that pretend ideal? or does it just mean you were shooting for the wrong goal in the first place? I don’t rightly know… but I still have hope that at some point I will… at least there is that.