Observation of a simple thing..

My daughter came down stairs looking very sophisticated this morning. Her hair all nicely done, and pulled back and a sweet smile on her face. I was never that primped and put together, on my best day. I still can’t seem to achieve that look.. lol, so what I’m trying to say is that she didn’t learn it from me, and definitely not from her father.. lol.

I don’t even remember 8th graders looking that put together when I was a kid. Yes, we’d dress up, but I never remember even my most fashionable friends looking so much like young adults. At best we looked like kids in grown up version clothes.

Its simple observations like this that just prove to me how much influence society has on our kids even at a very young age. Our kids spend a full time job amount of time away from us each week (sometimes more). I think we forget that sometimes. We think we have a good handle of what is going on their lives, just because they live in our home, and come home each night and don’t tell us about anything that is going wrong for them.

Once we realized that our kids aren’t just “our kids”, and start treating them like people who have their own dreams and fears, then is when we are given the opportunity to really get to know them. Talk with them, ask about their day, show some real interest. Even if you are “busy” it only takes a few minutes, and nothing is more important to a kid then knowing where they stand, and that they can depend on you when things get hard.

Just like how they have to prove to you that they are ready for the next responsibility, you have to prove you care, and just providing the basics isn’t good enough.

I love getting to know my daughter as she gets older. Oddly its the most fun I’ve had as a parent. Seeing her mature, and figure things out. So far we have a pretty good relationship. One where her friends are surprised about what she discusses with us. She’s a strong and sweet young girl and I see the neat kind of mixture of her Father and I in her daily. I tease her about being just like her Dad, but really I see us both in her, and I can generally follow her train of thought in most situations she brings to us.

We try to often talk to her about her feelings and what kind of thoughts she is having about any given situations. Its the only reliable way to get insight in how to help them. Kids won’t talk to you if they think they can’t trust you. Its like they are regular people or something! 😛 Respect your kids. You may be in charge, and there are times when you do have to draw the line, but don’t make every encounter with them be about dominating their actions or outcome. There are some lessons that only experience and life can teach.

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