passing thought..

Sometimes its those instances when you are placed in the middle of a sea of people, that you realize how on your own you really are.

Not to say that we are ever really alone in this world. In fact I think many times it is our selfish natures that trick us into believing its even ok to consider that thought. Focusing on how alone we feel allows us to justify to ourselves certain decisions we make, all in the name of being a martyr or a victim. It allows us to diminish the feelings of others because of how bad we ourselves feel. We mistakenly consider that we “deserve” a certain result and depending on the extreme one leads towards, it can be either positive or negative. The overachieving  perfectionist and the depressed loser are really afflicted with the same issue…  an extreme focus on themselves.  Everything is weighted on how something makes them look, or how something makes them feel.  Balance is where happiness lies, and it is hard to find it when your focus is zoomed in so close to yourself, that you can’t allow yourself to zoom out and appreciate the whole picture.

I was considering this recently as I was having lunch with some friends.  I mostly enjoyed listening to their conversation as I didn’t have much researched input to express on their choice of conversation. As I listened to them talk, I just thought about how different we all are. Each unique and special. Regardless of any desire to be part of any group, or to plain just be normal.  In reality, we really, truly are on our own in this life.  The reason I say this is because it always boils down to the level of responsibility we take in how we choose to live our own lives. We each have our own unique experiences to sort out, and we are each given a different piece of the puzzle. No one person has all of the information, and how we choose to sort out the information we do have, makes a big difference. Pretending we “know” the answer rarely helps do anything but make us assume things we shouldn’t.  Regardless of what many like to believe, a good chunk of it is our choice.  We choose to be dramatic, or we choose to press on. It is the decision of our outspoken and internal reactions that lay the groundwork for what we experience past that point.  It can’t in honesty ever be blamed on anyone, it is just what it is, and that is the honest truth.


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