Leave me my hope

Leave me my hope.. I need it. With out it I will either drown in my own tears or be incinerated by my own anger. Confined within myself and dwelling in a place I wasn’t meant to stay.

You ask me to leave behind my hope, or hide it. It makes you uncomfortable because you do not see its beauty. You do not understand its peace. You go as far as to question my intelligence and lucidity over it.

You cheapen our existence as an indifferent cosmic accident that has no meaning and purpose. I contend that we make our own purpose, and that there is a reason for our existence. Even simple chemical reactions have a cause in the specific elements that are present.

I maintain that our lives are not controlled, but are inspired when we allow it. Any artist understands the inspiration that leads them to great things, great works. They realize that sometimes it is not of them, that they are merely a vessel of this inspiration.

What of this unseen inspiration? You would have me disregard it? It cannot be touched or seen, therefore does not exist? You would have me believe that the only truth comes from ideas of mere men who consistently fail? Who’s limited focus rarely alters from their own comfort? Those who lazily generalize every idea and everyone into easy one-size-fits-all categories.

Leave me to my inspiration and whatever name I choose to refer to it. It is my relationship not yours. Much like a marriage, for it to be true then it has to be personal. It is not your place to judge my relationship, nor I yours. It is up to each to find their own.. I hope you do at some point, but I do not require it of you, nor do I think that it should look exactly like mine. If it is honest… it can’t.

Don’t ask me to abandon my hope, because I will not oblige. There is something more to this life than consuming and taking up space.  I believe this because I feel this presence, I know it.  I have seen and felt what difference its made for me. There is extra strength I can find in my hope. Loneliness is borne of an unwillingness to reach out beyond oneself. It is a choice that I don’t wish to make.

Leave me my hope.  My hope requires nothing of you, so do not demonize it. I do not expect you to fully understand, nor pick up my lead.  I do not believe in one-size-fits-all. You have your own existence to steer as do I. We are each our own unique element.

I choose to allow inspiration to flow thru me when it will, because during those times I am at my best.  During those times I am closest to my true potential, and during those times I am more than what I am on my own.

My hope does not hurt you, my hope does not even judge you for not embracing it.  So leave me my hope.. I need it.

~ by Serina Clason 6/25/10

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