Frustration run-a-muck!

In general,  because I feel the world a lot of the time focuses and promotes the negative, I really try hard to be optimistic and hopefully encourage more calm and positive thought-out reactions from people.

However, even optimists have some extremely frustrating times and I’m definitely feeling it right now. Since Its good to vent, and since typing it lets me get away with not crying at someone, or feeling like I’m complaining to much.. since no one can force you to read something, and since it is my blog,  consider this to not be  a  particular upbeat post.

There are times that frustration hits pretty hard, and I’m quite honestly feeling a bit lost.  I don’t like limbo, but that’s where we’ve found ourselves. Deon’s shoulder is just not getting better. It continues to just swell up whenever he uses it the least bit. He went and saw a “Specialist” a few weeks ago, and it was absolutely no help at all. We went to him to get an evaluation, and all he did was shake his head basically saying the MRI that was taken of Deon’s shoulder couldn’t be right because Deon couldn’t give him a specific tramatic incident that would concurr with the pain he was feeling. So the “Specialist” just brushed him off and sent him back to the same Physical Therapist office for “Evaluation”. This would be the same Physical Therapist office that he had already seen for the last month. The same place that had already told Deon that they couldn’t do anything for it because it was too swollen everytime he came in.

Now, I think because of some confusion with Deon’s insurance, we have been playing a waiting game to get another referral. In the mean time, a few more weeks have gone by with seemingly no progress.  Since so much time has passed, we have now been dropped from Deon’s works insurance, because he has been unable to go back to work, and we didn’t have money to pay a COBRA plan.  This means that the insurance that would actually covered any tests and such that would have have actually made it affordable to do so.. is gone, as my insurance is not  helpful when much when it comes to tests, MRI’s and things of that nature.  Also throw in there that while luckily he had filled out paperwork so his work would hold his job, that hold only lasts till 8/21, less than a month away.

We’ve at this point used up everything we had in savings to keep up with bills while he’s been off work. We had only recently been able to start a savings account again, but its gone except for the couple dollars that it takes to keep the account open, and I think I may have to close it.

I had made a call to the bank on our car loan, to see if there was anything we could do. The initial lady told me that because of how long we’ve had our loan, and that we never been late or missed a payment that we should be eligable for a one time deferral of a single payment, so she transfers me to that department. I get on the phone with another woman who asks me why we are requesting the referral. I explain the situation, and she tells me that because Deon did not injure himself at work, so is not receiving Workman’s comp or disability, that we don’t qualify for a deferral. I explained that if he had been receiving any of that, that we probably wouldn’t be calling requesting options. I asked about refinancing to try and work out a lower rate, and was told that we could try and apply if we wanted to, but would most likely not qualify because they have a policy to only refinance if you still owe more than $7,000 on your loan. We have been diligent, never late or missed a payment, and so we don’t qualify for refinance with them because “only” owe  roughly $5,800.

So… not sure what to do now.. Do we try to sell the car? Would even get what we owe? The way things are going, I’d doubt it. I’m just so frustrated! I’m trying to keep it at bay, because I know it only makes things worse.. not only in the situation, but also seemingly  in my MS symptom proliferation.

Just seems like one of those situations where there is no way to win , and there seems to be no end in sight, at least till we get a “shoulder specialist” to actually be interested in figuring out whats wrong, and how to fix it.


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