“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”. This is an expression we’ve all heard before, and honestly is one that many of us strive to make untrue in our own lives. We push forth with our own individualism, making our own way, and yet it seems that no matter what we do, there are still little small niche’s in our lives where traits of past generations seem to show up.
We all want better for our kids than what we had, it is human nature. There is a point though where I wonder, what is better? Is it really better for them to have their own tv’s in their room at 8? own cell phone at 10? own ipod’s at 12? own car at 16? Not to offend anyone if these happen to be true in your home, but sometimes I wonder if too many privileges too early isn’t what deteriorates our society.. We sit and complain how “ungrateful or lazy” kids are today, and how they don’t “appreciate” anything they are given, and how we “give and give and give” and they are never “satisfied”.
I know that in my own life, I have a tendancy to appreciate more the things I’ve worked for. Especially if its a goal that was made and had to be continously nitched away at until it eventually became a reality. If it is that way for me, there is a small chance that may be similar to the way my own kids would respond, and maybe I should take that into consideration. I wonder sometimes if their lack of determination sometimes comes from just being handed things. “Things” are cool, and I’m not saying to not get your child that thing they’ve wanted all year for Christmas. I’m just saying that maybe we should think about what we give them more often. Be willing to take away privileges once in awhile, even if it makes things less convenient for ourselves. Above all – to remember that these “things” never make up for missed quality time with your child.
Ask any kid what they got for their birthday or christmas two years ago, and there is a good chance they can’t remember… ask them about the last family vacation you had, or the last time you spent actual quality time with them, and more than likely, they will remember that..
OK, that was a slight tangent….
So, I originally started this post to talk about a kind of a backwards experience I had a few days ago. Generally you hear the title saying when talking about recognizing a trait that someone may have in common with a their parent. This week, I ended up having this thought occur when realizing that something I’ve known so plainly about my son, and even get after him for from time to time, may be something he actually inherited from me… lol
While working on the jobsite for our house, I was watching some of the people on site pick up a piece of lumber, and look down it as if they were looking down the barrel of a gun. Everyone was really busy, and I really had to bite my tongue (quite a few times), because I had the urge to ask, “Why are you doing that?” or “What are you looking for?”
I didn’t ask, because I didn’t want to interrupt progress. However I gleaned later from listening that they were looking for the “crown” of the board, which I will go online in a few and figure out what that exactly that means.
For some reason, I just had so many questions, and it at somewhere in the middle of trying to not interrupt progress, it occurred to me… I’m being my 8 year old son! My son Haiden is a sweet little guy, and always has SO MANY QUESTIONS!… ALL the time, to the point where it sometimes will get on my nerves.. I try not to get frustrated with him, because he is just trying to learn, and I’m proud of him for wanting to know things, but there are times when I’m tired and cranky, and not as attentive as I should be about answering things for him.
My husband has joked in the past, that whenever he doesn’t know something, he’ll just ask me, Not because I necessarily know the answer, but because he knows that not knowing will gnaw at me, and I will go research it to find the answer. He knows it will continue to bug me till I have at least some kind of explanation to offer him, and I’ll tell him once I find it.. lol…
Still, knowing all that, before this week, I had never tied the two traits together…
***Edit: Crown – The crown of a piece of lumber is the upward arch you see when you look down its narrowest edge. In your new home, builders who don’t take crowns into consideration can create humps or dips in floors or walls. Engineered wood, floor trusses and I joists can be used to eliminate crown problems.