This past week, we have been gearing up for school. The hustle and bustle now over after a shopping trip with my friends Mom here, a few separate occasions of whole family excusions to the store, an appreciated church back-to-school event, and a sale at my sister’s place of employment which produced a grocery sized plastic bag full of cheap (in price not quality) kids socks … and I think they are finally all set.
Clothes, supplies, backpacks all acquired for all three of them. That’s right.. all three.. even my baby, who in all honesty isn’t a baby anymore. Kylan is now 5 yrs old and will be starting Kindergarten this year. He’s growing so fast! they all are, and it makes me worry.
I have really been thinking alot about how much I want to give to my children. Not material things mind you. Never been a huge fan of material “stuff”. I’m talking about imparting wisdom, (or at least what little I have in that area) to them. While I know that God is very forgiving, it is becoming a recurrent thought in my head that I really only have this one chance. You only get to live life once (unless you believe in reincarnation I suppose, but even then, you start all over with out the benefit of remembered experiences.. I think anyway.. I’m really not up to date on the subject )
I have one chance to assure them and the rest of my family that I love them. One chance to give them any small benefit that I can offer them, and attempt to do it in a way that doesn’t drive them crazy, or worse – away. My kids are still pretty young, all under 10, so I think I have a little time before craziness ensues.. but not much.. Hormones are already hitting my 10 year.
There are so many things I want to teach them.
- I want for them to understand their own worth, and for them to not be like me, and not to – for any amount of time – base their value purely off of what others think, or even worse.. what you surmise that others think, or be looking for constant validation. (I’ve battled with that, and it is miserable!)
- I want to teach them to be go getter’s, to work hard and deligent for what they want, because there is no sweeter victory than when you win or accomplish something that you totally deserve. Getting things the easy way may seem like the life, but while you may enjoy whatever it is for a short time, you will never feel that rush, or really appreciate what you have received.
- I want for them to never have to feel regret because they didn’t strive to reach their goals. I hope they won’t be “afraid” of what they could accomplish. (as long as it is for the good of all)
- I want them to have confidence in themselves, and be comfortable that their intentions are honorable and their decisions are right, and to have a clear conscious.
- I want them to understand quickly the importance of helping others. Life is all about sharing and giving. To have the mentality that they can make a difference in this world, and that things can be better if we roll up our sleeves and make them that way…
- I want them to understand that while I know there are going to be decisions they make that I won’t be a fan of, that I will always believe in them, and will always still love them. That their worth to me is not now, nor ever will be tied to “what they can do for me”
All those things and so much more! I wish I could have been home with them more this summer.. heck I wish I could have been home with them period – and have made them be what I could pour all my attention into (aside from my relationship with my husband and my God that is). But that is a rare occurrence these days. We need to be a two income family, and job issues and unwanted health problems as well as bills and other everyday things steal part of the attention I’d rather spend on devoting to the developement of my kids. Hopefully they will understand at some point.
Honestly though, my mother was stay-at-home, and it didn’t end up improving our relationship any, and I wasn’t a rebel by any means. So its back to recognizing quality over quantity and identifying those pinnacle moments when they are receptive to ideas and any messages of hope I can offer them, any words of wisdom, or at least experience from some of my less-intelligent decisions.
I just love them so much!