No, the topic isn’t about old TV shows.. lol
A couple weeks ago, I spent a whole lot of time filling out an application to see if we could get a new house in about a year. I really hope we get it, as it would be a great improvement in situations for us. There are a few other good canidates working towards the same thing, so there is a chance we might not, but I’m praying by some chance we make it. If for nothing else, would be a more positive event that my husband would really enjoy.
It is important for him to get to a point where he isn’t living in his parent’s old home. Not because he isn’t grateful to his wonderful parents for helping us out when they can, but really for his, (and really our) own sense of being responsible, and finally in charge of our own future. In charge of our own family, in what we can consider our “own” home. Its really difficult to explain.
I know that it can be argueed that we could change the paint here and there (which we’ve done), do things to fix it up, and make it different, but its not the same. No matter what we do to that place, it will always be his parents old place, with their memories… some of ours.. but some of which haven’t always been our most treasured ones. I could definately like not having images of ambulances in front of our house at 2 am a few years ago flashing through my mind. That was a scary one that I’d like to forget, but even now every once in a while I picture it when I walk into the diningroom.
Monthly utility bills, especially winter and summer are really hard, as we need to find some way to make it more energy efficient. The “Park” we live in raises its rent every summer. And though there isn’t really any one else who would agree, and I can’t cite it as fact, it still bothers me that 3 autoimmune diseases have reared their ugly heads during time periods of people living there.
I do really just pray that our application gets considered and hopefully I’m not being selfish to hope. If it doesn’t end up happening, we’ll be staying here indefinately. I really don’t know what we could do with this place. I must sound horribly ungrateful, but its not that at all. Don’t get me wrong, I have appreciated having more space then we had in our first apartment. I have really appreciated having his family close nearby….. I just wish that we could feel like we were on our own.
People don’t grow and learn and advance without being in the right enviroment, and sometimes it is actually a lack of support that is needed to progress. So while it has been a Godsend at times to know that his family are around to help us out if we fall, I think it would be good to remove this safety net at some point. Things have been far more stable recently than has been the case before. Right now I feel like we are like a bike with training wheels. I think it may be time to take our own first steps if you will. We want to grow up.. how often do you hear that?
But… in the end its not really what any of us “feel” that really matters. If it doesn’t happen then there is a reason, and we will just need to patiently await what God has in store for us.
I just need to remember, God never ignores prayers, he answers one of three ways: #1 Yes you may, #2 No – I have something better in mind, and #3 Not yet.. Patience my child, in due time.